4 Tips For Overcoming A Slump

As you may have guessed, I bring up that particular point because I am, in fact, in a slump. Now, to be fair, I don't believe my slump was originally a creative slump. After a week of vacation, getting back into the swing of work has been incredibly difficult. It's been about two weeks back in the office, and I still feel like I'm playing catch up, which means I feel like I'm never clearing out my "To-Do List" at the end of the day. That creates stress, which leads to moodiness, which makes me finicky and unmotivated. And there you have it: the slump. I want to do everything that has nothing to do with the things I should be doing. Work? No thank you. Writing? I'll pass. Blogging? If I must. But movies, binging on TV, going out to eat, and shopping? Sign me up!

Now, there are definitely different types of slumps and everybody experiences and deals with them differently. I happen to be in the type of slump where I just want to avoid all the stuff that's agitating or stressing me out. Which is super counterproductive to things like getting a manuscript finished or, you know, earning your paycheck. I've been in this particular slump for a few days now, but after a few really good conversations today, I think I'm ready to start shaking it off. But that got me thinking about the things that have helped me overcome those emotional slumps in the past, so I've compiled a short list of things to try when you're stuck in a perpetual feeling of meh.

1. REVIVE YOUR MOTIVATION

This is obviously an "easier said than done" tip, but for me, the dip in motivation has always been my most crippling side effect of the slump. Professionally and creatively, a lack of motivation breeds apathy and lackluster effort. So when you find yourself starting to lose a grip on your motivation, try reminding yourself of what you're trying to motivate yourself for in the first place. Personally, I'm fighting towards a raise at work and towards publication in my writing. And neither of those things is going to happen if I don't keep pushing myself to get them done. I want a raise to buy a house and I want to be published so, some day, I can make my passion my profession. If you find yourself getting worn down or burnt out, sit down and take a serious look at why you're fighting in the first place.

2. TREAT YOURSELF

I don't necessarily mean this in the traditional "treat yo self!" fashion, although that could definitely be applicable. But if you find yourself slipping into a slump, try doing something nice for yourself. Our lives are hard. Work vs family vs friends. Social time vs alone time. It's all a balancing act that gets to be incredibly exhausting. And once in a while, you deserve to reward yourself for putting up with all of that all the time. I'm not saying you need to go out and spend $500 on a pair of shoes you saw window shopping, but maybe go to your favorite restaurant. Or sit down and watch your favorite movie. Do something that you know makes you happy. Something you enjoy. When you fall into a slump, it's easy to get stuck there. But sometimes you can pull yourself back out by firing a little extra positivity into your day. Allow yourself a few indulgences and use that upswing to propel you out of the slump.

3. TAKE A BREAK

You can't always force the issue. And sometimes you do more harm than good by trying to. If you're trying to coax yourself out of a slump and everything is failing, that just creates a circle of more negativity. So you gotta know when you should just take a step back from everything. Most of us can't just decide to walk away from our desk for a few days, obviously, but maybe you can request a work from home day. Or request a vacation day in the middle of the week. And if those aren't options, get whatever you have to get done at work and walk away from it at the end of your shift. Go find a distraction and get the hell away from it all when you're off the clock. And creatively? Same concept. I know not everyone would agree with the idea of choosing not to write for a few days because you're "not feeling it," but I believe in breaks when they're needed. Personally, when I find myself in an emotional slump, I find other outlets to temporarily channel my creativity. When writing won't do it, I'll knit or play around with graphic design, or I'll bake. A lot of times, using a new medium for a few days will eventually inspire me to jump back into my writing. Dipping into other outlets I favor makes me feel good about my results, and when I feel like I'm doing well, that makes me feel like I can do well in the things I was shying away from, too.

4. TALK IT OUT

Never underestimate the power of conversation. Whether this is your first step or your last resort, talking things out can be incredibly cathartic. I didn't even fully realize I'd fallen into a slump until my manager pointed it out during my one-on-one today that he noticed I seemed withdrawn. He gave me an opportunity to admit that I was in a slump and to talk about it. And better than that, he understood. There's a huge relief that comes from realizing that the people around you don't expect you to be on point 100% of the time. And for me, knowing that there are people around me who want to help however they can? That helps. And having someone to talk to gives you the chance to articulate your feelings. One of the most frustrating things about a slump is that it's not usually super obvious why you're in one. But talking about it, having to put that feeling into words for someone else, gives you the opportunity to sort through your own feelings. And when you understand why you're in a slump, you've got a much better chance of getting back out of it.

Are any of you trying to get yourself out of a slump too? And if so, what's working for you?

3 Tips For Managing New Ideas

Now, I guarantee I'm not the only writer who goes through this. I'd even take a gamble and say that most writers probably experience this inspiration roller coaster to some degree or another. And I also don't think it's an entirely bad thing - I'd rather have too many ideas than not enough! But the real problem for me is learning to keep those bright, shiny, new ideas on the back burner while I actually try to finish something. And I've been taking some steps that, so far, have been working pretty well for me!

1. MAKE A LIST

If you're already keeping track of your inspiration, this probably comes across as a no-brainer, but for anyone who hasn't tried their hand at listing out their story ideas yet, I highly recommend giving it a shot! For a long time, I think I became so obsessed with new ideas because I was afraid I'd never remember it by the time I finished my current story. How you keep your list is entirely up to you, of course. Right now, I have a dry erase board on the wall beside my desk that I keep a short list on. There are four written down currently with a fifth that needs to be added. And for me, the list is as simple as a couple of words to remind me of what the general concept was, like "Angel + Demon" and "Swan Lake" to pull a few off my board. But if you need a little more than that...

2. STICKY NOTE YOUR DETAILS

For a few of my ideas, the simple one to three word title reminder wasn't enough. Particularly for the few that were stories I kind of started before reigning myself in to focus on one thing at a time. So for those, I've started utilizing color-coded sticky notes to highlight just a few of the most important points about the story. Right now, my sticky notes include brief character blurbs - their name and a few quick words to describe them - and a couple of research notes I wanted to be sure to look back at when I really get into the story. Obviously you don't have to use sticky notes if they're not your fav (bullet points do the same thing!), but I find they work well for keeping me organized and concise. All I want here is to remind myself of a few pre-determined details I liked so I have a solid starting point later on. And if you really just can't help yourself...

3. WRITE A LITTLE BIT OF IT

At the end of the day, if you just can't stop thinking about your new idea, and you can't get anything written for your current project because of it, stop fighting the inevitable. Open a new word document or pull out one of your notebooks and spit out the scene that's driving you crazy. Now, I say scene because that's how 90% of my ideas come to be - smack in the middle of the damn story somewhere with a specific scene that I just can't get out of my head. So when all else fails, I'll sit down and write out some or all of the scene that's getting to me and then save it for later. You may find that it never fits into your story, or maybe after getting that bit out, the characters don't speak to you anymore. And if that happens, that's okay! Maybe you have a skeleton scene for another story at your finger tips. Either way, words written is important, and you may find a place for those words down the road.

This is just a very small list of the things I've been trying at home, but the important thing here is to find a way to corral your new ideas so you can actually work some of them into fruition. Unless, of course, you're one of those people who can work on multiple things at the same time - lucky you! If you're not, give these a try and let me know how they work out for you. Or, better yet, if you're already doing something that's working well for you - let me know! I could definitely use all the tips I can get!

Distance And The Heart (Or Something)

But cleaning has to be done because in far more awesome news: my parents are coming to visit! I live out in Raleigh, NC, which is very decisively "east coast," and I've honestly lived up and down the east coast most of my life. But right before my last semester in college, my parents moved out to New Mexico for my dad's job, and they've been out there ever since. And to give you some perspective, that's that was over 5 years ago. Now, my parents have lived in a few cities out in NM: Roswell, Albuquerque, Farmington, etc. And no offense meant to anyone who lives out that way but...I hate it. I've always grown up close-ish to the water and surrounded by trees and a lot of greenery, but NM is an entirely different planet. Beautiful, in it's own way, with the constant looming of rock faces and far off mountains, but definitely not for me. And unfortunately, NM to NC is a pretty lengthy trip.

Luckily, holidays come around a few times a year, and I get to see mom and dad! My brother, thankfully, lives nearby, so I do have some family around, but I grew up as a military brat, which means it was just the four of us moving from place to place for a long time, and we've always been super close. So nowadays nothing makes me happier than family visits. Except, of course, for that whirlwind spree of cleaning that has to happen right before mom (OR GRANDMA) shows up.

But this is likely going to be the last time I see my parents before Christmas, so we have to make the most of their time here! First for sure thing happening? Tattoos! My mom, dad, and brother all already have several, but I haven't committed yet. Next week while they're in town, though, we're going on a family trip to get inked up (is that a thing tattooed people say?). Definitely a little nervous but also very excited to finally be doing something I've considered for years now. Now let's see if I can stop at one or not. Probably not.

Other than that, I expect this weekend to lead to a lot of good food, a few good drinks, and honestly just as much quality family time as I can squeeze in. For those of you who celebrate it, what do you have planned for the Fourth?

Inspiration In All Places

For me, there are a few things that do this best for me. The first is going to conventions! I've only been a convention-goer for about 4 years now, but they've always instilled the same fire in me. And it certainly makes sense. The conventions I've frequented are ConCarolinas in Charlotte, NC and the much smaller IllogiCon in Raleigh, NC, but both of these conventions have writer's tracks. So it's a chance to spend two to three days listening to other authors talk about their work and their processes and their tips and tricks and to be surrounded by people who share that passion with you. And for me there are really few things that are as inspiring as seeing and listening to these people who were, at one point, exactly where I am now. Even by the time the first day of the convention is done, I'm usually desperate to pull out my tablet or my phone to pick at whatever project I'm currently working on. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll see my work being published and I'll get to be up there inspiring new writers, too!

Now, it makes sense that spending a few days with writers and in writing panels makes me, well, want to write. But the other thing that really pushes me into my creative headspace is a good movie. When I'm not eating or writing, one of my very favorite past times is going to the movies. Don't get me wrong, watching a movie at home is great. But going to the movies is the best. Even with the expensive ticket and the overpriced concessions and the people on their cell phones on the row in front of me, I love the movie theater. And most of the time when I leave a movie I'm happy! Even if the movie was bad, I have something to talk about and I have a new experience of some kind for it. But once in a while a movie will hit me in just the right way that I leave the theater on cloud nine and all I can think about is sitting down to write. They're not even my favorite movies that do it to me! I have a hard time explaining it, but sometimes I'll watch a movie that just feels so creative in its own right or so well executed that I am completely overcome by the need to do something like that. To create characters and stories that make other people feel the same sense of awe or wonder or surprise that I felt in the theater.

One of the first times I really noticed having this reaction was after I saw The Uninvited. I left the theater, and I was practically giddy. It was like a rush of endorphins and inspiration, and I think I went back to my dorm and wrote fanfiction for the rest of the night. And I still get that feeling when I walk out of certain movies. And I'm never sure when I walk into one if it'll do it for me or not, so it's always a pleasant surprise. Pacific Rim and, more recently, Mad Max: Fury Road gave me the same feeling, although it was a little easier to understand with those. A film that, in my opinion, does an excellent job with in-depth world building instills within me a very deep desire to do some world-building of my own. And the best thing about having a rush of inspiration during a convention or after a movie is that I usually have at least a little time to act on it. Not like when I'm struck with the desire to write in the middle of the work day.

Have any of you ever had that sudden onslaught of creativity? And if so, what brought it on? I'd love to hear what makes other writers desperate to write!

First Things First

If the title, header, and sidebar didn't already give it away, I'm Kyle Difiori. I'm an aspiring romance and erotica author currently focused on M/M fantasy and paranormal works. Since I certainly don't have enough writing experience yet to devote my entire blog to it, you can expect a mix of personal and writing-related blog posts here. But ultimately, my goal for this blog is to chronicle my writing journey and to develop better writing habits.

Currently, I'm working on a fairytale re-imagining and planning for it to be about 30,000 words. At not-quite a third of that yet, however, it's difficult to say exactly how that will pan out, but it's all part of the learning experience! I am certainly not new to writing, but I am new to manuscripts and to writing something I actually plan to finish. In light of that, this blog will detail a lot of my own personal discovery with writing processes as I determine what works for me and what doesn't. Up to this point I've always been a discovery writer who does very little, if anything, in the way of outlining or planning outside of the initial conception and character creation phase. But who knows? Maybe that won't be the kind of writer I am by the time I'm a certified, published author.

For now I intend to focus on getting myself into a regular schedule for writing, both for the blog and for my projects. I'd like to start by trying to post here twice a week, but like I said, learning experience, so if that doesn't work out, we'll adjust! In the meantime, I'm looking forward to getting to know you all, and I hope the feeling is mutual. And by all means, please feel free to comment - I'd love to hear from you!