"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" bemoaned 13 year old Juliet while waxing poetic about her boycrush. And technically, that's true. A rose would smell the same regardless of what we called it. But names are powerful, sometimes iconic things, and finding the perfect name for your characters can be a tricky business.

I am a writer who is entirely incapable of writing a character until I know what their name is. I'm also a writer who typically has characters manifest themselves in the back of my mind, uninvited, but they don't usually come to me fully formed. I may have a scene in mind for them, or a personality trait or two pre-determined, but until I've put a name to them, I struggle to connect with my characters in a way that allows me to start telling their stories. And that's because naming my characters is such an integral part of my understanding them. Because a name shapes your character. Not just in the way a reader views your character, but also in the way your characters view themselves.

How exactly you name your characters is a personal choice, of course, but here are a few things I tend to consider when going through the process:

1. Name Meaning

I think most writers use this method at some point. Especially early in the writing journey when you're first learning to develop characters and every detail seems imperative. And plenty of writers - myself included - continue to use it to find just the right moniker for a character! Sometimes you can use a character's name to hide foreshadowing tidbits (ie. Remus Lupin), or you use a particular name to reiterate something about the character's personality. Kendrick, for example, means 'royal ruler' or 'champion.' This could be a great name for a monarch or maybe even a superhero.

2. Name Bias

Naturally, as we go through our lives, we develop biases around certain names. There are plenty of factors for this - people we know, historical figures, cultural biases, etc. - but the fact remains that certain names will resonate in very different ways with your readers. For example, if you're writing a fantasy novel about a wizard, you'll probably want to steer clear of the name Harry. There are already two fantastic and prominent series that star a magic-wielding Harry, so you may struggle to stand out with a third. Alternatively, a name like Alejandro, with rolling syllables and pop culture significance, may make for a perfect romance protagonist.

3. Name Weight

If you write anything like I do, you probably spend more time on baby name sites than parents expecting sextuplets. And if you don't, I highly recommend checking a few out! A personal favorite of mine is NameBerry. But if you spend enough time on these sites, you'll start to become familiar with the intricacies of names and how much weight they carry - for a baby or for your new character. A name like Archibald, for example, is lofty and not exactly modern or popular at the moment. Simply put, it's difficult to pull off. But you can still use this to shape your character. Personally, I'm a fan of giving characters big, bold names and then letting them decide if they're the sort to embrace it or the sort to insist on a nickname. After all, there's usually a difference between a character who goes by Archibald and a character who goes by Archie.

And if worse comes to worst, you can always scour through name lists or chase the rabbit through "similar name" threads until you find something that simply resonates with you and your vision of a character. And if you have a different method for naming your characters, or if you have a favorite place to go for name inspiration, please let me know in a comment - I love finding new resources!

Emotionally, it's been a rough week. I'm still mentally hungover from last week's goodbyes, and I let myself get maybe too entrenched in some of the bad things going on in the world (see: RNC, the horrific Twitter assault on Leslie Jones, etc). I've been going through the work day in a haze and, creatively, my drive has been completely shot. But throughout the week I've been making slow steps towards improvement. Mostly by stepping backwards.

Most of my time away from work this week has been spent on old favorites, re-imaginings of old favorites, and trying to revive old favorites. The re-imaginings come in the form of Ghostbusters and Star Trek Beyond, both of which I had an amazing time watching and will probably see again in-theaters. And anyone who knows me knows that I tend to be most invigorated creatively by new movies. There's something about leaving a theater after living in that other world for two hours that makes me want to create my own worlds. And when I wasn't at the theater this week, I was re-watching Pacific Rim at home. This definitely tends to be a love it or hate it film, but Pacific Rim is very near and dear to my heart. In a lot of ways, it's the film that jump started my writing after a long hiatus.

Had an amazing time seeing @lesdogggg in #Ghostbusters last night! It was so much fun and so funny! 👻❤️🙌🏻 #girlsnight

A photo posted by Kyle Difiori • Writer (@kyledifiori) on Jul 19, 2016 at 7:40am PDT

Specifically, re-watching Pacific Rim took me back to my fanfiction. Now, let's be clear - I've been writing fanfiction on and off for a very wide array of shows and books and movies since I was 13. Much of that has been graciously lost to time and the void. But about three years ago I started writing fanfiction again for Pacific Rim. And then I took a break and started writing fanfiction again about a year after that for Transformers in several variations. It's been a very long time since I've written any new fanfiction. But watching Pacific Rim again made me curious enough to revisit some of my older work. And I was actually pleasantly surprised by what I found.

I re-read everything. Everything I had posted under my most recent fanfiction pseudonym. Everything that was clearly posted too quickly and without enough of an editing eye. Everything that was written on a whim or a dare or bits of conversation with other fans. I even went through and read the parts that never got posted. This piece of a second chapter and that bit of an unfinished follow-up. And that spurred me to re-read one of my own stories. One that I started over a year ago and abandoned. And you know what I realized?

I'm pretty fucking good at this.

And when that thought first crossed my mind, I felt cocky and egotistical for it. Like I didn't deserve to think highly of my own work. And then I thought about it a little further and realized...if I don't like what I'm writing, what's the point? It's a good thing to enjoy your own work. That's not to say that I don't suffer very regularly from the writer's inevitable self-doubt, but this was the first time in a while that I realized I'm actually good at this writing thing. And maybe it's not so crazy to think that if I finish something, people will want to read it. And that was exactly the kind of pick-me-up I needed this week.

So while I contemplate finishing up a few of these dusty old fanfics, tell me: have you ever gone back to an abandoned project and realized you're pretty fucking good at something, too?

Okay, so I know I talked all about the horse and getting back on it in my last post, and that was supposed to include way more regular posts, which didn't immediately happen. But in my defense, a lot of things have been changing over the last couple of weeks since then! One of those things, as you may have noticed, is the blog!

I decided that a new look was in order. Not because I disliked my last layout! But a new look felt like the first step towards turning over a new blogging leaf, as it were. I think the cleaner colors make for a more pleasant experience, and I honestly kind of love the pseudo-logo header. The stock photo I use for my avatar (because I do not look so perfectly, coyly seductive eating fruit) features a strawberry, and I decided to run with that theme in certain ways. So if you see strawberries all over the place, you'll know why! But, ultimately, it took me about a week to get all of the tweaking done so that I was happy with the blog, and after staring at coding for hours, I wasn't feeling up to typing anymore!

Another change you may or may not have noticed is in the form of the photo sharing empire of Instagram! I went ahead and started my own under this pen name so you guys can see a little more of what my life is like outside of text. Of course, right now it looks like the only thing I do when I'm not writing is eat, but...well, yeah, that's pretty accurate. Expect a lot of pictures of food! If you want to check it out, you can find me @kyledifiori! If you stop by, leave me a comment and let me know you came from here!

Finally, I've been a bit absent because I had to say goodbye to one of my very best friends this week. She and her husband are moving across the country to California, and while I am incredibly thrilled for them and the amazing opportunity this presents, I am also sad. Sarah has been my closest friend since we met in Japan 15 years ago, and saying goodbye has been emotional. Even though, technically, we've avoided actually saying goodbye. But that's okay! Because as far as I see it, this isn't really goodbye - it's see you later. Because there is a CoCo ICHIBANYA in California and my first visit to see Sarah will probably include two or three visits for curry! And we did a pretty solid job of celebrating our last dinner together. With what, you ask? RAMEN!

Saying goodbye to an amazing friend is hard, but doing it over #ramen 🍜 makes it a little easier! Plus, ramen is salty and masks the taste of goodbye tears. Noodle Blvd would be a great setting for a future scene, though...

A photo posted by Kyle Difiori • Writer (@kyledifiori) on Jul 15, 2016 at 12:45pm PDT

What about y'all? Ramen was the clear choice for Sarah and I to "say goodbye" over since we started our friendship in Japan, where we both fell in love with ramen. But if you had to say bid adieu to your best friend tomorrow, what food do you think would be the best representation of your friendship? Leave a comment to let me know!

What is it about giving good advice that makes it so painfully difficult to follow it yourself? It has, admittedly, been a while since I last posted on my blog. It's also been a while since I've taken the time to sit down and write anything. I'd say that over the last year or so, I've been doing a bit of creative soul searching - consciously and otherwise.

In the last year I've changed jobs and expanded my social circle and ultimately become wildly complacent with my creative outlets. And, honestly, it took me a while to realize that. It wasn't until ConCarolinas floated back into the picture that I realized I had gone an entire year and was none the better for it. Not just that I hadn't gotten anything published, but that I hadn't gotten a manuscript finished at all. Hell, I hadn't even started a new one after the other petered out! I was off to spend a weekend listening to incredibly talented people talk about their work and give advice, and there I was, for the 5th year in a row, having made no progress whatsoever. As someone who aspires to eventually be a peer on those panels instead of just a fan listening in, I had done an abysmal job of actually pursuing that goal.

But wallowing over my failures isn't going to change anything! All I can do at this point is to learn from my mistakes and make the changes in my life necessary to achieve my goals. So here we are! Reinvigorated, re-inspired, and ready to take my writing seriously again. I realized after a few incredibly helpful panels (I'm looking at you Imposter Syndrome) that I have, at least in part, been avoiding my writing thanks to the fear of failure. But you know what? Failure is okay. Like I said, we learn from our failures. And I'm never going to figure out what works for me until I fail a few times with other things.

So here we go, everyone! Ready, set, write!

Is there anything better than being on a roll? Alight with creative energy, highly motivated, all the pieces falling into place - it's great! It fuels productivity and a positive attitude and just makes things pretty awesome all around. And if being on a roll is the epitome of greatness, then the opposite must hold true for being in a slump. Because being in a slump sucks.

As you may have guessed, I bring up that particular point because I am, in fact, in a slump. Now, to be fair, I don't believe my slump was originally a creative slump. After a week of vacation, getting back into the swing of work has been incredibly difficult. It's been about two weeks back in the office, and I still feel like I'm playing catch up, which means I feel like I'm never clearing out my "To-Do List" at the end of the day. That creates stress, which leads to moodiness, which makes me finicky and unmotivated. And there you have it: the slump. I want to do everything that has nothing to do with the things I should be doing. Work? No thank you. Writing? I'll pass. Blogging? If I must. But movies, binging on TV, going out to eat, and shopping? Sign me up!

Now, there are definitely different types of slumps and everybody experiences and deals with them differently. I happen to be in the type of slump where I just want to avoid all the stuff that's agitating or stressing me out. Which is super counterproductive to things like getting a manuscript finished or, you know, earning your paycheck. I've been in this particular slump for a few days now, but after a few really good conversations today, I think I'm ready to start shaking it off. But that got me thinking about the things that have helped me overcome those emotional slumps in the past, so I've compiled a short list of things to try when you're stuck in a perpetual feeling of meh.

1. REVIVE YOUR MOTIVATION

This is obviously an "easier said than done" tip, but for me, the dip in motivation has always been my most crippling side effect of the slump. Professionally and creatively, a lack of motivation breeds apathy and lackluster effort. So when you find yourself starting to lose a grip on your motivation, try reminding yourself of what you're trying to motivate yourself for in the first place. Personally, I'm fighting towards a raise at work and towards publication in my writing. And neither of those things is going to happen if I don't keep pushing myself to get them done. I want a raise to buy a house and I want to be published so, some day, I can make my passion my profession. If you find yourself getting worn down or burnt out, sit down and take a serious look at why you're fighting in the first place.

2. TREAT YOURSELF

I don't necessarily mean this in the traditional "treat yo self!" fashion, although that could definitely be applicable. But if you find yourself slipping into a slump, try doing something nice for yourself. Our lives are hard. Work vs family vs friends. Social time vs alone time. It's all a balancing act that gets to be incredibly exhausting. And once in a while, you deserve to reward yourself for putting up with all of that all the time. I'm not saying you need to go out and spend $500 on a pair of shoes you saw window shopping, but maybe go to your favorite restaurant. Or sit down and watch your favorite movie. Do something that you know makes you happy. Something you enjoy. When you fall into a slump, it's easy to get stuck there. But sometimes you can pull yourself back out by firing a little extra positivity into your day. Allow yourself a few indulgences and use that upswing to propel you out of the slump.

3. TAKE A BREAK

You can't always force the issue. And sometimes you do more harm than good by trying to. If you're trying to coax yourself out of a slump and everything is failing, that just creates a circle of more negativity. So you gotta know when you should just take a step back from everything. Most of us can't just decide to walk away from our desk for a few days, obviously, but maybe you can request a work from home day. Or request a vacation day in the middle of the week. And if those aren't options, get whatever you have to get done at work and walk away from it at the end of your shift. Go find a distraction and get the hell away from it all when you're off the clock. And creatively? Same concept. I know not everyone would agree with the idea of choosing not to write for a few days because you're "not feeling it," but I believe in breaks when they're needed. Personally, when I find myself in an emotional slump, I find other outlets to temporarily channel my creativity. When writing won't do it, I'll knit or play around with graphic design, or I'll bake. A lot of times, using a new medium for a few days will eventually inspire me to jump back into my writing. Dipping into other outlets I favor makes me feel good about my results, and when I feel like I'm doing well, that makes me feel like I can do well in the things I was shying away from, too.

4. TALK IT OUT

Never underestimate the power of conversation. Whether this is your first step or your last resort, talking things out can be incredibly cathartic. I didn't even fully realize I'd fallen into a slump until my manager pointed it out during my one-on-one today that he noticed I seemed withdrawn. He gave me an opportunity to admit that I was in a slump and to talk about it. And better than that, he understood. There's a huge relief that comes from realizing that the people around you don't expect you to be on point 100% of the time. And for me, knowing that there are people around me who want to help however they can? That helps. And having someone to talk to gives you the chance to articulate your feelings. One of the most frustrating things about a slump is that it's not usually super obvious why you're in one. But talking about it, having to put that feeling into words for someone else, gives you the opportunity to sort through your own feelings. And when you understand why you're in a slump, you've got a much better chance of getting back out of it.

Are any of you trying to get yourself out of a slump too? And if so, what's working for you?

After a fantastic week spent with my family, I'm back to sleeping in my own bed and trying to get back on schedule! And after trying to cram as much awesome food, shopping, and experiences as possible into one 9 day stretch, that got me thinking about a problem I'm notorious for: overwhelming myself with too many story ideas. If you're anything like me, you find that the inspiration and early conception of a story comes much easier than the fully rounded plot and characters needed to take it from a daydream to a reality. And if I'm being really honest with myself, that's one of my biggest stumbling points when it comes to my writing. I'll start working on an idea I was obsessed with, but before I ever finish cranking out a manuscript, I start dreaming up new ideas that suddenly seem so much more intesting than what I'm already working on.

Now, I guarantee I'm not the only writer who goes through this. I'd even take a gamble and say that most writers probably experience this inspiration roller coaster to some degree or another. And I also don't think it's an entirely bad thing - I'd rather have too many ideas than not enough! But the real problem for me is learning to keep those bright, shiny, new ideas on the back burner while I actually try to finish something. And I've been taking some steps that, so far, have been working pretty well for me!

1. MAKE A LIST

If you're already keeping track of your inspiration, this probably comes across as a no-brainer, but for anyone who hasn't tried their hand at listing out their story ideas yet, I highly recommend giving it a shot! For a long time, I think I became so obsessed with new ideas because I was afraid I'd never remember it by the time I finished my current story. How you keep your list is entirely up to you, of course. Right now, I have a dry erase board on the wall beside my desk that I keep a short list on. There are four written down currently with a fifth that needs to be added. And for me, the list is as simple as a couple of words to remind me of what the general concept was, like "Angel + Demon" and "Swan Lake" to pull a few off my board. But if you need a little more than that...

2. STICKY NOTE YOUR DETAILS

For a few of my ideas, the simple one to three word title reminder wasn't enough. Particularly for the few that were stories I kind of started before reigning myself in to focus on one thing at a time. So for those, I've started utilizing color-coded sticky notes to highlight just a few of the most important points about the story. Right now, my sticky notes include brief character blurbs - their name and a few quick words to describe them - and a couple of research notes I wanted to be sure to look back at when I really get into the story. Obviously you don't have to use sticky notes if they're not your fav (bullet points do the same thing!), but I find they work well for keeping me organized and concise. All I want here is to remind myself of a few pre-determined details I liked so I have a solid starting point later on. And if you really just can't help yourself...

3. WRITE A LITTLE BIT OF IT

At the end of the day, if you just can't stop thinking about your new idea, and you can't get anything written for your current project because of it, stop fighting the inevitable. Open a new word document or pull out one of your notebooks and spit out the scene that's driving you crazy. Now, I say scene because that's how 90% of my ideas come to be - smack in the middle of the damn story somewhere with a specific scene that I just can't get out of my head. So when all else fails, I'll sit down and write out some or all of the scene that's getting to me and then save it for later. You may find that it never fits into your story, or maybe after getting that bit out, the characters don't speak to you anymore. And if that happens, that's okay! Maybe you have a skeleton scene for another story at your finger tips. Either way, words written is important, and you may find a place for those words down the road.

This is just a very small list of the things I've been trying at home, but the important thing here is to find a way to corral your new ideas so you can actually work some of them into fruition. Unless, of course, you're one of those people who can work on multiple things at the same time - lucky you! If you're not, give these a try and let me know how they work out for you. Or, better yet, if you're already doing something that's working well for you - let me know! I could definitely use all the tips I can get!

Real talk time: I hate cleaning. I know I'm not alone in that, but I really, really hate it. And it's not even the cleaning part that I hate. Honestly, it's the organizing, picking up, straightening out part that I hate. Mostly because I seem to live in a world of not-entirely-organized chaos. Clean but a bit of a disaster, if that makes sense?

But cleaning has to be done because in far more awesome news: my parents are coming to visit! I live out in Raleigh, NC, which is very decisively "east coast," and I've honestly lived up and down the east coast most of my life. But right before my last semester in college, my parents moved out to New Mexico for my dad's job, and they've been out there ever since. And to give you some perspective, that's that was over 5 years ago. Now, my parents have lived in a few cities out in NM: Roswell, Albuquerque, Farmington, etc. And no offense meant to anyone who lives out that way but...I hate it. I've always grown up close-ish to the water and surrounded by trees and a lot of greenery, but NM is an entirely different planet. Beautiful, in it's own way, with the constant looming of rock faces and far off mountains, but definitely not for me. And unfortunately, NM to NC is a pretty lengthy trip.

Luckily, holidays come around a few times a year, and I get to see mom and dad! My brother, thankfully, lives nearby, so I do have some family around, but I grew up as a military brat, which means it was just the four of us moving from place to place for a long time, and we've always been super close. So nowadays nothing makes me happier than family visits. Except, of course, for that whirlwind spree of cleaning that has to happen right before mom (OR GRANDMA) shows up.

But this is likely going to be the last time I see my parents before Christmas, so we have to make the most of their time here! First for sure thing happening? Tattoos! My mom, dad, and brother all already have several, but I haven't committed yet. Next week while they're in town, though, we're going on a family trip to get inked up (is that a thing tattooed people say?). Definitely a little nervous but also very excited to finally be doing something I've considered for years now. Now let's see if I can stop at one or not. Probably not.

Other than that, I expect this weekend to lead to a lot of good food, a few good drinks, and honestly just as much quality family time as I can squeeze in. For those of you who celebrate it, what do you have planned for the Fourth?

Greetings internet! For my first non-introductory post to this blog, I decided I wanted to talk about a part of the creative process that's maybe more of a side-effect than an actual step. As anyone who creates in some form knows, inspiration strikes from just about anywhere. The things you see, the things you do, the things happening around you or the things happening in your imagination - the constraints of inspiration are pretty non-existent. And as I'm sure all creators also know, the sudden, inevitable lack of any kind of inspiration is also just as likely and just as difficult to explain. But what I'd really like to focus on in today's post is more than just that brief moment of "oh, this gives me an idea." I'd like to talk about the things that thrust you into your creative mindset. The things that make you sit up and go "oh my god, I have to get home so I can write!"

For me, there are a few things that do this best for me. The first is going to conventions! I've only been a convention-goer for about 4 years now, but they've always instilled the same fire in me. And it certainly makes sense. The conventions I've frequented are ConCarolinas in Charlotte, NC and the much smaller IllogiCon in Raleigh, NC, but both of these conventions have writer's tracks. So it's a chance to spend two to three days listening to other authors talk about their work and their processes and their tips and tricks and to be surrounded by people who share that passion with you. And for me there are really few things that are as inspiring as seeing and listening to these people who were, at one point, exactly where I am now. Even by the time the first day of the convention is done, I'm usually desperate to pull out my tablet or my phone to pick at whatever project I'm currently working on. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll see my work being published and I'll get to be up there inspiring new writers, too!

Now, it makes sense that spending a few days with writers and in writing panels makes me, well, want to write. But the other thing that really pushes me into my creative headspace is a good movie. When I'm not eating or writing, one of my very favorite past times is going to the movies. Don't get me wrong, watching a movie at home is great. But going to the movies is the best. Even with the expensive ticket and the overpriced concessions and the people on their cell phones on the row in front of me, I love the movie theater. And most of the time when I leave a movie I'm happy! Even if the movie was bad, I have something to talk about and I have a new experience of some kind for it. But once in a while a movie will hit me in just the right way that I leave the theater on cloud nine and all I can think about is sitting down to write. They're not even my favorite movies that do it to me! I have a hard time explaining it, but sometimes I'll watch a movie that just feels so creative in its own right or so well executed that I am completely overcome by the need to do something like that. To create characters and stories that make other people feel the same sense of awe or wonder or surprise that I felt in the theater.

One of the first times I really noticed having this reaction was after I saw The Uninvited. I left the theater, and I was practically giddy. It was like a rush of endorphins and inspiration, and I think I went back to my dorm and wrote fanfiction for the rest of the night. And I still get that feeling when I walk out of certain movies. And I'm never sure when I walk into one if it'll do it for me or not, so it's always a pleasant surprise. Pacific Rim and, more recently, Mad Max: Fury Road gave me the same feeling, although it was a little easier to understand with those. A film that, in my opinion, does an excellent job with in-depth world building instills within me a very deep desire to do some world-building of my own. And the best thing about having a rush of inspiration during a convention or after a movie is that I usually have at least a little time to act on it. Not like when I'm struck with the desire to write in the middle of the work day.

Have any of you ever had that sudden onslaught of creativity? And if so, what brought it on? I'd love to hear what makes other writers desperate to write!

In the words of the much-beloved Snoop Dogg: greetings, loved ones!

If the title, header, and sidebar didn't already give it away, I'm Kyle Difiori. I'm an aspiring romance and erotica author currently focused on M/M fantasy and paranormal works. Since I certainly don't have enough writing experience yet to devote my entire blog to it, you can expect a mix of personal and writing-related blog posts here. But ultimately, my goal for this blog is to chronicle my writing journey and to develop better writing habits.

Currently, I'm working on a fairytale re-imagining and planning for it to be about 30,000 words. At not-quite a third of that yet, however, it's difficult to say exactly how that will pan out, but it's all part of the learning experience! I am certainly not new to writing, but I am new to manuscripts and to writing something I actually plan to finish. In light of that, this blog will detail a lot of my own personal discovery with writing processes as I determine what works for me and what doesn't. Up to this point I've always been a discovery writer who does very little, if anything, in the way of outlining or planning outside of the initial conception and character creation phase. But who knows? Maybe that won't be the kind of writer I am by the time I'm a certified, published author.

For now I intend to focus on getting myself into a regular schedule for writing, both for the blog and for my projects. I'd like to start by trying to post here twice a week, but like I said, learning experience, so if that doesn't work out, we'll adjust! In the meantime, I'm looking forward to getting to know you all, and I hope the feeling is mutual. And by all means, please feel free to comment - I'd love to hear from you!